All I could see were his legs. His upper half was under the raised hood of his pickup truck. I walked over to see if I could help.
“Anything I can do?”
“Having one of those days?”
“No, having one of those lives.”
Some days feel like entire lives. We try to keep things in perspective but sometimes things are out of kilter for weeks on end. Today they sigh, “Can I just catch a break?”
July 1949 was a difficult month for C. S. Lewis. In a two paragraph note to his friend Arthur Greeves he admits, “I am in an agony of hopes & fears as you may imagine.” His brother Warnie struggled with alcoholism and the woman under his care, Mrs. Moore, was experiencing failing health. Things were dark.
Lewis begins the second paragraph:
“It would be better if the door of my prison had never been opened then if it now bangs in my face! How hard to submit to God’s will.”1
I believe it was Alfred Lord Tennyson who famously said, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” This may be true but there are days you wonder.
“Cursed be the day on which I was born! The day when my mother bore me, let it not be blessed!” – Jeremiah 20:14.
- Walter Hooper, ed., The Collected Letters of C. S. Lewis: Books, Broadcasts, and the War 1931-1949, Vol. II (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 2004), 959.